I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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