how do flat chested girls get laid?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
