I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
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