there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
