So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
