Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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