Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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