You smell like a Billy Joel song
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
not ubering you a puppy
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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