OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
