I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It's blow job season.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
