pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I love having hate sex.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. ðŸ˜
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize