i permit you to call me
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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