I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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