how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
