You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
