oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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