Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
