Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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