I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
