3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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