I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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