did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
