It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
