I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I can't turn off my feet"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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