Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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