He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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