I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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