I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize