just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize