Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
