His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
