i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
