It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
No subtext here. People are naked.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
