My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just pee around me
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
