My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
