i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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