If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
