she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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