I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
