I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
