I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
