i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
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