On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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