if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
