She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Girls should come with a carfax report
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
