Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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