i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
