I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
