remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
