I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Holy sore nipples Batman
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
