Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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