There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You made out with two different species that night
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize