totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize