Jerry, you need to find god
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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