Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
