I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
