Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
