I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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