Girls should come with a carfax report
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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