dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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