well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
